Yes I'm showing! or, yes, I'm showing...

I'm pushing toward 21 weeks pregnant now. There have been two responses that are driving me crazy:
1. "Oh, you couldn't tell it." This from an older gentleman at my part-time job who I don't see often. He's a nice guy, really, but I want to punch him in the face. Because at this point in my pregnancy, telling me that I don't look pregnant sounds to me like "You are really fat."
2. "Oh, you look great, you're glowing." This one maybe doesn't drive me crazy but since I feel like I look like crap and I definitely don't feel like I'm glowing, it makes me a little nuts. It's easy to respond with a "Thanks!" but when you're walking around, constantly hiking up the belly band and adjusting your jeans, "great" is not an adjective you'd use to describe yourself.

It's only logical that this pregnancy would be different. I didn't show with Baby M until I was about 6 months along, and my belly popped out at 16 weeks with this little one {a BOY!}. I didn't even post a "belly pic" until I was 28 weeks!
I'm going to get real here: This does not excite me. I would be much more satisfied if my belly was displaying the adorable roundness that other (thinner) moms display so freakishly.
The reality is the only reason my belly is popping out is the extra pregnancy pounds I never lost from M and probably added on to those extra pounds that I had before I was pregnant, ever. Bah, humbug.
My dear friend said to me at one point during my first pregnancy that I was the only one she knew who was worried about weight gain during pregnancy. Well, let me put it this way: Those L-Bs don't come off easy and I knew/know that should the weight I gain be the right amount, shedding it shouldn't be difficult. Shut up already, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" e-mails!
Who really wants to chow down on spinach and carrots, every. single. day.?!
So to get back that feeling of "great", I have to primp. I choose to wear cute shoes or lipstick or something that makes me feel like some random person who fleetingly looks at me in Costco isn't looking because they're trying to figure out if I'm pregnant or well rounded (ha). Yes, I am wearing a bright shade of pink on my lips, thank you very much! Bright, isn't it?! feels nicer than Stop looking at me because you can't figure it out! At least ask if you're that interested!
Because I know we all have these moments while pregnant.  

...

Right?

Here's my get-the-heck-over-it pic. I never feel more 17 than when I'm snapping my own picture in a mirror. Which happens never. Except today.

Hot showers, after noon...

I got to take a hot shower today! And when I mean "hot," I mean, "almost-scalding-your-skin" hot, which I only get to do when there's not a toddler in the shower with me.
Why am I telling you this, you might ask? Well, I'm really just rejoicing in the fact that I was actually able to shower without my munchkin, because she was sleeping. The timing on my showers is clearly imperfect, because I should always plan them this way!
Today, it was even before 12 a.m.! That's an accomplishment, too, although it's embarrassing to admit it. Mommys all know that showering in the morning while baby is between 0 to 6 months of age can be impossible; over six months, and it starts happening more... At almost 15 months, shouldn't I have it figured out by now?
I'm only that motivated on days that I have to be somewhere early, and if I can schedule it, it'll happen later. There's just so much more to get done in the morning now that M is getting older! Making sure she eats and is clean while trying to get some work (housework, work-from-home work) done sometimes (a lot of times) pushes showers to after noon, maybe an hour or two before I have to leave the house for the part time job I have.
On the other hand, am I the only mom who has a problem with showering, only to spend the morning cleaning the kitchen and downstairs bathroom? Gross! Why get clean if I'm only going to get dirty cleaning? (Hello, oxymoron.)
Usually by the time I'm done cleaning anything, my hands are so dry from multiple washings and various chemicals that I need to bathe them in petroleum jelly to get the moisture back. (I'm okay with this, on principle—I at least know there are no bacteria or germs in my kitchen until the next meal is made. Go on, try finding a germ.)

Generic vs. Brand, or when to be cheap

What's your preference, generic or brand? Does it matter on the product? Here's my lists.

Baby products
Baby powder: Brand. Johnson's Baby powder smells better, enough said.
Baby shampoo: Generic. Parent's Choice or the Target generic works just as well.
Baby bottom ointment: This one is a brand vs. brand for me, and Desitin is just plain stinky and hard to get off your fingers, and Boudreaux's Baby Butt Paste (click the link and laugh at the site address!) doesn't reek and wipes off easier. Winner!
Diapers: I can't really argue here because I've had M in Huggies since I ran out of baby shower gift diapers and the hospital Pampers. They've been the same price as Costco generics, and I like them. No contest here.
Lotion: I'm totally undecided here. Johnson's smells nice but generic lotion isn't bad either.
Wipes: Generic. I buy them in bulk and they're big enough that I can rip them in half to use less of them. (Yes, I actually do that.)
Baby lotion: Generic. Unless you're attached to the smell of Johnson's, it's all the same. Plus, the hubby won't whine that he smells like a girl after putting lotion on baby.
Baby formula (if necessary): Generic. We bought Similac at first but when Costco's Kirkland brand is a full $12 less, it made more sense. I dare you to find one difference between M and a kid on Enfamil or Similac (or breast milk). I will add: I tried Gerber's formula and was incredibly displeased with it, so that's a "don't buy" for me.
Baby food: This one's tough; all I ever bought as far as stage foods was Gerber or Beechnut, and M didn't display any preferences or dislikes. So save the money and buy what's cheap.

Groceries
Peanut butter: JIF! Every time and for always. Does anyone actually consider any alternatives?!
Jelly: Generic. Smuckers is good and all, but Walmart's generic is decent. Caveat: Target's generic sucks!
Bread: I wish I could buy generic, but I go brand. It's just better.
Pasta: Generic. I really like Walmart's wheat noodles.
Spaghetti sauce:  I buy Hunt's, which is cheaper than the the store brand most of the time. It's also not too bad to eat.
Cheese: Generic. I think it'd be tough to find a difference between brand and generic here!
Butter: Stick butter—generic. Fake butter—Country Crock!
Flour/sugar: Generic! Another one that's hard to tell the difference.
Soup: If it's a cooking soup, generic. If it's for lunch, I like Progresso.

Mmm, banana bread. The only way I eat bananas.

So what's your list? Share it with me! What can't you live without and what gets put in the cheap list? 

An open letter to pregnancy heartburn

Dear pregnancy-induced heartburn,
You've made your appearance much sooner than I expected. In fact, most definitely would find your arrival at around three months pregnant as far too soon in advance; could you have at least sent a notice? I needed time to clean the house, or in this case, stock my cabinet with antacids.
I thought I'd have more time to enjoy the spicy foods that I love at all other stages of life (mainly, the not-pregnant ones) because you didn't show up with Baby No. 1 until seven months. Might I remind you I'm only barely four months along?
And who do you think you are, to show up even if I eat small, frequent meals with plenty of water and snacking? Do you regularly defy medical wisdom or is this just a "pregnant girl" thing?
Since I'm resigned to your arrival and it seems you'll be sticking around, I guess the only thing I'd like to make clear is that you are not welcome to stay post Baby No. 2. No offense.
Without love,
Tafra

I have these by my bed, in my purse, upstairs, downstairs, anywhere I go...

We made it through the night!

It's funny to write that title after M has been sleeping through the night since six months old, but of course I mean I made it through the night without her!
What was quite a revelation was how enjoyable a night out at a fancy restaurant without a baby could be (wow, did I ever take that for granted before the baby came along!). I've never been to the Melting Pot, so it was a fun new experience to sit down and eat a meal over the course of several hours.
I didn't call, I didn't stress. I knew M would be fine with her Grandma, I knew Grandma would call if something was terribly wrong. Hubby and I didn't even get home until almost 11, so it would've been absurd to go get her.
Plus, I think once I got a taste of that sans-child feeling, I enjoyed it. I love my baby, of course. There's no question! But an evening of being an adult was enjoyable.
Hubby told me to enjoy the night, to sleep in and not worry about the baby, but once the evening out was over, I was ready to have my baby back.
Sleeping in is almost a cruel joke to me—our male (neutered!) cat yowls at random during the night if he's not outside, and I threw a pillow at him last night. Hubby left for work sometime around 6, which is decidedly late for him but was still terribly early, and after that, sleep was sketchy. I was up by 7:30, cleaning a bit, before I was in Stella (my Jeep, yes I name my cars!) and on my way to my girl.
Baby girl, of course, had done as fine as I expected. Fought her bedtime, as per the norm, but slept well and woke up well. When I arrived she wasn't even that excited to see me (Ms. Independent is always ready to kill Mommy's sense of appreciation) but she did shower me with kisses a few minutes later (redemption! Little bugger.)
So we made it through the night, we made it through our first night of separation. What's next? Maybe Mommy and Daddy will have to take a few days away before Baby No. 2 arrives...

Is she ready?

Is she ready for a sleepover? And by "she", I mean me. Am I ready for my daughter to do a full night away from me? My knee-jerk reaction is "NO!"
The hubby and I are being taken out to dinner by his boss, which for us is doubling as an anniversary dinner since we celebrated our fifth on September 1 ("celebrated" is a misnomer... I actually worked the entire day, we had breakfast together and that was that). The dinner is also a fundraising event so there's no telling exactly how long it's going to take.
Next dilemma: I don't exactly have a long list of sitters. In fact, thus far, we've only had to pay one person to watch M—all other times, she's been in the care of family. Honestly, I really like it that way because I have a deep mistrust of people. That mistrust is fed by news reports of the evil human beings out there who abuse children and the fact that I worked at a prison for a year; I know what kind of horrible humans are out there!
So M is again going to be in the care of her Grandma this evening, but she's going to be at Grandma's house. We don't know how late we'll be out, so the option was presented of letting M stay overnight.
Ah, the dilemma. While I have no doubt that M is independent enough to be okay with it, I'm not sure if I can keep myself from worrying all night.
What if she wakes up and is scared by her environment? (She's spent a lot of time at Grandma's house.)
What if she gets sick? (Grandma raised three children of her own, I'll be she could handle it.)
What if something happens? (What exactly is "something", anyway?)
So should I leave my baby there overnight? I probably won't know until tonight, when we're driving home and I'm trying to decide if waking my baby up from sleep, putting her in a car, then removing her and replacing her in the crib is worth the several sleep interruptions and the possibility of a meltdown, or if leaving her with her grandparents overnight is better so she'll get a full night of sleep.
I never imagined I could be this torn!

How hard would it be to not see that face as the last thing before I go to sleep?

Parenting TOTD:
You know you're a parent when the thought of college tuition sends you into a minor panic (and your child is 17 years away from going to college.

A compilation of parenting thoughts

Oh no it hasn't been two weeks since my last post?! Oh, but it has. Yikes, to think I had wanted to post every day. Just like I wanted to complete that 30 day photo challenge...

So here's a random compilation of the things that have occurred to me lately:

• You're definitely parents when conversations (without the baby in the room) between your spouse and yourself include terms like "potty," "kisses," "kitty" and "shoesies" and are spoken in baby talk.
• I'd really love it if someone three times my size could pick me up and pop every. single. bone. in my back.
• Those commercials that show people supposedly talking to themselves then revealing a baby at the end are totally me at the grocery store with my baby. Goofy references and all.
• No matter how many times I tell M that she can quit wearing diapers if she learns to go potty in the toilet, she still isn't quite ready to do it, and it's still cathartic for me to say it while she's screaming bloody murder and trying to fall off the changing pad.
• My child is Ms. Independent, and sometimes, that makes me sad. Like when she leans away from me and laughs when I'm trying to kiss her goodbye. Or even worse, runs away.
• Sometimes when I'd really like the pregnancy hormones to take over and turn me into a bawling mush of tears, just to cause a guilt trip, I'm reminded that I'm a fighter, not a cryer, and that lets me know I'm still me.
• Having a house that looks like a toddler lives in it might cause me to develop a split personality. If I suddenly start cleaning your house, take away all sharp objects and just let me clean until the OCD personality calms down.

 Until next time, LOL {click the link!} and kiss your babies. <3