Birthday and breaking the news!

The past few weeks, I've been trying a variety of different ways to do something cute to announce that Matt and I are expecting our second child. There are so many cute things on Pinterest, I thought for sure I could do something as cute.
Well, the attempt has so far failed, but not for lack of trying. First I was going to do witty quotes on scrapbook paper, but I couldn't think of anything good for Matt. Then I was just going to do us holding our birthdays, because this new baby will be the only winter birthday in our little family, but M had absolutely no interest in her sign. She was far more interested in everything else she saw around our yard, like her slide, or the dog, or grass, or... You get the picture.
Then, there was having time to do a photo with Matt. When he was home, though, I usually was at work or we were busy doing something important. So then I thought, why not something like just the shoes we wear as an announcement? So I took a photo of my boots as a start.

But then I realized that since we don't know the gender yet (I'm only about 10 weeks) and I have no gender-neutral baby shoes, what would I do for the new baby? Maybe I over think things, yes?

So today is my birthday, and I thought I may as well spill the beans for everyone so that 1. I can talk about the pregnancy symptoms (hello, nausea, I did not miss you) and 2. It is rather ironic that for two birthdays in a row, I will be pregnant. I sense upcoming trials (two kids under two?! A little intimidating!) but God's timing is perfect, so I know that He has something in store for us all. 

Blessings!

When sleeping in 'till 9 is a special blessing

I am tired lately. Thus, I am really thankful that I am a mostly stay-at-home mom who works in the evening. Baby M was in bed by 8:40ish last night, I was in bed probably around 9:45.
M woke up at 6:15 and being the tired mommy I am lately, I made her a bottle, cuddled with her and let her drink hoping in my heart she'd fall back asleep. She didn't appear to be attuned to that desire, and was quite awake and willing to try to sidle off our (high) bed as she does when she's going down stairs, so I set her down, stayed right where I was and kept one eye on her while I laid there, comfy cozy.
She knocked the monitor down and was happily playing with that, and when I heard too much silence I looked down and saw her face down, rear up (lately, her normal sleeping position) in the dog's bed. Laughing to myself and wondering if she were really sleeping, I cautiously began to move and she sat quickly up. Nope, not sleeping. I laid back down, but kept watching.
She moved around a lot, sitting up, laying down, up, down, pulling Roxy's blanket all over her (yuck but who is going to take that from a happy baby? Not me.) Finally she was staying in the head down, butt up position long enough I though she was sleeping. She looked wide-eyed at me when I picked her up, fussed until I gave her the monitor again, then proceeded to go back to sleep curled next to me.
Bliss.

The fact that we slept until 9 (or maybe 9:15) and missed the news was really not all that disappointing to me—I got to sleep! Maybe my right arm was sore and asleep from the odd angle but that is totally worth it!
Mornings like that I almost feel guilty telling my hubby about, especially since he's been getting to work at 5 a.m. On the other hand, his horrid alarm wakes me every time and then it's usually an hour long process for me to get my mind to shut up and go back to sleep, so maybe telling him we slept late is my personal paybacks for waking me at obscene hours of the night.
Either way, sleeping in like that has lately been a particularly special blessing for me, allowing me to catch up on the sleep I missed (going to bed late, waking up from too much water before bed, hubby's alarm) while also getting to cuddle my soon-to-be one year old who refuses to cuddle when fully awake.
I typically am the "no feeding to sleep" mom, but I'll admit it: If it gets me even one extra hour of zzzz's, I'll take it. I'll just make sure she doesn't eat to sleep in the evening, and it all evens out.

Of the many photos I tried to snap of her in the little red headband with her patriotic suit, this was literally the best one. I admire the photographers who have figured out the tricks to keeping young children at enough distance that they can't touch your lens while getting close enough to shoot at 35 mm, because it's hard! Or, keeping the child from just getting up and walking to you with pudgy fingers ready for smudging.

Words for a wordless situation

I'm about an hour away from the Aurora theater where 12 people lost their lives due to senseless violence. When Columbine happened, I was a sophomore in the same school district as Columbine and we were locked in until the end of the day.
Colorado has seen its fair share of violence and evil. Sometimes I feel like there are no words to express the horror and sadness I feel when these things happen, but then I remember, there are many words—the Bible is full of them.
I love to see wounded individuals reaching out to God when their world is shaken, because God is not behind the evil that occurs in this world, the Enemy is. And when you seek solace and shelter in Him, hope grows in Him (Psalms 31:24).
Evil entered the world when Satan first tempted Eve. It began to rule the world once Adam and Eve sinned; their children succumbed to it (Cain and Abel), cities fell (Sodom and Gomorrah) and eventually God sent His only Son, Jesus, so that we could be saved from sin and join Him in heaven.
There is always hope, love and forgiveness for all who run to Christ. Tonight, as more details emerge and we see the perpetrator in court, I pray that all those affected by this tragedy seek the only one who can give them hope.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for your Son, Jesus Christ. I pray that you be with the families affected by the shootings in Aurora, that you comfort them, strengthen them, and that they find solace in you. I pray that you also give them the strength to forgive, as you forgive us. I pray that any questions they have, that you put the right people in their lives to lead them to you or teach them to be closer to you. I pray for all those who were lost that night, that they knew you and one day I'll meet them in heaven.
Amen

Perfect

I named this photo "Perfect"

because she is!!

Notice the four teeth? The top two finally broke through the last week of June, first week of July. I can't believe she's going to be 1!
I talked about party planning in my last post, and it's still definitely going strong. I'm coming up with as many horse-themed ideas as possible: the cake will have a horse and rider running the barrel pattern, her mini cake will have a horse at pasture, I'm going to serve carrots and apples with the burgers and hot dogs and I'm thinking granola as the party bags (horse "grain").
Any other fabulous ideas, friends and readers? Comment below!

Unril you have kids...

...You will not put as much effort as any other party before in your life. Ever.
Sure, you might think you had party planning skills, back before life was full of friends who juggle work and a family just like you. It was super easy to throw a quick get-together together because everyone wanted to do something with you on a Friday night!
Now, everyone still wants to get together but it takes a whole lot more planning, and then, once you have a reason for getting together (M's first birthday!! Already?!), party planning commences.
I remember having really simple birthday parties when I was a kid—smores and running around playing tag, going to a movie with a friend, eating cake with a couple of friends. My mom was never into big to-do's about anything (still isn't!) but the thrill of M turning one, plus Pinterest and my own excitement for themes is running away with me.
At first I had slimmed the possible theme to The Little Mermaid or My Little Pony. Either worked—it was M's love of water and my own love of horses vying it out. I posted it on Facebook and MLP won the popular opinion, so that was my working theme.
Then, I started thinking about cake. Sure, I could order one and pay a lot for it. But since I'm working off a budget, I wanted to do it myself. I found a few examples of horse cakes, but the more I considered, the more I realized I'm too OCD to try a horse (if it doesn't look like a horse, I won't be happy). So the next best option? Making a sheet cake, icing it and putting horses on it.
Thus, I've devolved into a cowgirl/horse theme, a more generic and possibly more unique twist on what should be a really special day for me (because I doubt M will remember it!)
I did a test run of the small cake that M will get to destroy (is there a name for them?) this past week and it turned out okay, I learned to really layer my pan with a lot of Crisco so that all of it comes out, including the sides. I learned that I can make the majority of the frosting and buy the stuff to use for decorating because it's firmer, and finally, I learned you have to use a lot of dye to get the color you want in frosting!
That's a lot of work for a party my kid won't remember! But it's worth it. She always is.

Breastfeeding and pools

All right, mommas. I bring it up because it's happened at a pool I was guarding once and my lil' sister still guards, and had it happen today to her. You want to breastfeed in public? Fine. You want to breastfeed in a pool? Get outta town.
I want to point out something that I don't believe the Crusader Moms (any mom who finds a cause, no matter how absurd, and starts protests, wages war and generally causes a ruckus) think about: It is unsanitary for YOUR CHILD to nurse in a pool. Do you know what's in a pool, besides chlorine? Urine. Fecal material. Skin cells. Food particles from the snack you let your older kids have 30 minutes before swimming. If it's an outdoor pool: bugs, grass, sunscreen residue, sweat. There's a good chance another kid might've puked a little of his lunch up and not told anyone. Most people don't shower before getting in, especially those old men who just sat in the sauna for 20 minutes and need to cool off.
Do you really want the privilege of nursing your child in that?
Chlorine makes water safe to SWIM in. It does not make it an appropriate place to feed a child whose immune system is not as strong as yours. And believe me when I say, the pristine pools you see the Olympians swimming in is not your local public or neighborhood private pool.
Yes, mothers have the right to breastfeed where they want in Colorado. That doesn't make it right to breastfeed in a pool!
I won't even bring up the bodily fluid argument because it's a moot point, there are all sorts of nasty bodily fluids floating in that water. If you care about your infant, you will take the time to get out of the pool, wrap him/her in a nice fluffy towel and breastfeed on the sidelines. Oh, and it's probably not a bad idea to give the older kids a break, too, because children get tired in the water and it's better to be safe than sorry with your children!
Clearly, this debacle has become the vocal minority overruling the quiet majority—a majority of women don't feel the need breastfeed while in the pool, but that Crusader Mom and her group of "Human Rights" mommy minions have blown this whole thing out of proportion.
Crusader Mom seems to not care that others may be offended by her actions, and that attitude is harmful and blinding. All she sees are her "rights" while forgetting the those around her have rights, too. And typically she vents her opinions on a hapless lifeguard who only wanted to enforce the rules so that everyone at the pool is comfortable, safe and happy. (Side note: Stop taking out your issues on lifeguards. It's not nice.)
If you search for "breastfeeding in public pools" you find a lot of stories, and most of them end with pool management acquiescing to Crusader Mom. You'll also find a lot of forums where the question is posed: "Should it be allowed or not?" and the answers are ignorant "sure, why not?" and "I don't see why you shouldn't."
If you worry at all about your children being in a clean environment, then you would not add to the mess of a pool. You would breastfeed your child out of the pool for the sanitary consideration of everyone (I've only ever seen Mexican hotel pools allow food and drink in the pool so don't even throw that argument at me!) and most importantly, for the well-being of your very own loveable, messy baby! You would also take your kids home and make them shower in good clean water with soap, because even though the possibility of contracting illness from a chlorinated pool is slim, that stuff I mentioned earlier is on their skin, in their ears, hair, nose, etc. and it is pretty nasty when you think about it!
One closing thought: Swimmers do their very best to avoid inhaling/drinking the water they swim in, for more than just appropriate breathing reasons—they're in it enough to know that it can be nasty. So why put your baby in the position to consume that bacteria-filled water at the same time as their nutritious breast milk?!

Disclaimer: I support breastfeeding wholeheartedly. I support a woman's right to breastfeed in public. I do not believe that right extends itself into physically breastfeeding a child in a pool. These are my opinions, and frankly, if you don't share them, I'm always open to a little thoughtful discourse so comment below!

Most of all, let your kids swim! Water is one of the best things in the world for them (just scrub them after). :)

Providence and rain

Colorado has needed rain—anyone who lives here knows, and anyone who doesn't probably knows as well, because the fires raging across our state have been on national news for a while.
We've finally been getting rain, in some places, and sometimes, it's a lot of rain, which can cause problems in burn areas or just wash out the areas that are so dry. And I saw a post a friend of mine put on Facebook: "Couldn't we have this rain two weeks ago when the Waldo Canyon fire was burning homes?"
That would've been providence, wouldn't it? But is it any less so since God sent the rain now?
I'd say no. God sees the big picture. He knew Colorado needed the rain, but maybe He also was waiting for us to earnestly cry out to Him for help. Many people don't reach out to Him at all in times of trouble until we're desperate. Maybe he was waiting for that last holdout to say, "God, we need your help!"
Plus, I believe that God uses these situations to bring us closer to Him, and to remind us that through Him, nothing is impossible.
How often do we get to hear feel-good stories? Not often, unless they're attached to potential horror stories. Because it so often takes the worst in someone to bring out the best in someone else.
Take the Waldo Canyon fire: We don't know how it started yet, but authorities suspect foul play. There's your terrible human nature; someone was angry, jealous, insecure or maybe just foolish enough to deliberately start something that has devastating potential. This person's apparent misdeed, however, is bringing out the best in so many others. Like families opening their doors to complete strangers so they have a place to stay, or the donations and help that comes in all shapes and sizes that's needed so badly.
I do not think God whispered to that one person, "Go play with matches over there." He is not the reason we stumble. I do think the enemy told that person, "It won't hurt. What harm could possibly come of it? Go ahead, play with those matches." Satan is behind our sin, he loves it, revels in it.
But the great thing is that God takes whatever situation that Satan has created and turns it for better. People have lost their homes, possessions, pets, neighbors. But I bet God is there, carrying them just like that poem, "Footsteps in the Sand," suggests.
So now that we're getting rain, it's easy to look back and say, "But if..." or "But why..." Yet I say "Thank you!" because I can see God's hand working here in this state, and it humbles and encourages me.

Dear God,
Thank you for the rain. Let us remember that although we might never comprehend Your ways, You are always in control. Please bless those who have lost, and protect those who fight for our safety.
Amen


Waldo Canyon photos
Fire Ban

A little rain, a little shine

Yesterday did not start off in a way that might've made me worry. In fact, baby M had a great morning and we even got to go swimming with Grandma in the afternoon.
Once we were leaving though, the big gray clouds rolling in could've been playing an ominous tune, because they forecast nothing but trouble.
I was scheduled to do maternity photos with my friend Alise and her hubby, whose little bundle is due July 10, 2012. When I spoke to her, I said, "Pray it doesn't rain on our parade!" even though it seemed apparent there was no amount of praying that might stop this mighty storm.
As it came closer for me to go meet them, it started to rain, and hard. I found my phone, obviously wanting to touch bases with Alise, and found it mysteriously off. Sure, you'd think I just forgot to charge it, right? That would be the blonde excuse. But oh no, it was charged. It had sat on the charger all night. So the stupid thing mysteriously died, leaving me with no way to contact anyone except my parents' landline (I know, dinosaur.)
But does anyone memorize numbers anymore? I don't, except for the hubby's and the home number my parents have had since moving to Colorado. So the next step was trying to get Alise's number, which I knew was in my Facebook messages, which was easily accessible via computer, right? Wrong. Facebook is worthless if you cannot access it, which you cannot if the Internet your parents use is down.
So, the count is 1. Phone dead and 2. Internet down. What more could possibly happen? Well, how about walking out to your car ("Stella") and finding the door locked. Hmmm, that's strange, you might think. So you go ask your dad if perhaps he had locked it from some strange concern it might be stolen right in front of our eyes. But no, no he did not. Oh boy.
I go back out to Stella and go the driver's side door, and to my growing dismay, find it locked. Stella had locked herself. Key inside. CAMERA inside.
Yep, I sure wouldn't have cared if that thing had locked itself only with my key inside. But that camera? Alise and I live over 50 miles apart and she's due in literally 3 days, who knows when that baby will come?! I needed that camera!!
I guess it is good that I have my husband's cell number memorized because at least I could get a hold of him, no problemo. Crazy guy was just leaving work (he worked like 13 hours, bless his poor tired heart) and told me he'd go get the spare key and come to my parents' house.
That brings it to: 1. Phone dead 2. Internet down 3. Car locked with camera inside.
I jumped into my dad's pickup to hopefully track down Alise at our designated meeting space, not knowing if she had maybe decided to cancel due to rain, or maybe the baby coming, so I just hoped to see her. To no avail—so I went back and finally the Internet had returned.
Amazingly, the evening rounded itself out. The storm cleared, Alise and her hubby passed some time with dinner and visiting with me, my great rescuer hubby arrived and unlocked my car, and, being very thankful for late summer light, we got to take photos.

 This is photographer's favorite. I'm really thankful to Alise for being a good sport, being patient, and most of all, allowing me to take photos for her. I learned so much, it was absolutely invaluable. Thank you Alise!!
We may not have gotten to do playground photos (my original idea), but I think overall, it turned out just fine. And if Alise gets her way, her little bundle of joy will arrive sooner rather than later, so it's awesome that we did get this session in. Thank you, Lord!

Country meld—I'm a songwriter in hiding

I work part time at a place that plays country. I hate country music (as it is now). After four measly hours I'm ready to pull my hair out, and now, having worked there for over six months, I'm ready to clean out my brain if I could.
The problem with the music, besides the fact that it's "country," otherwise known as pop rock, is that it is the same, over and over and over and over.
So, when you have a problem of waking up randomly in the middle of the night and your brain starts working, you might come up with something like this:

Hey I'm a wildflower, growin' in the sunshine, 

soakin' up the way of life I was raised in,

runnin' barefoot, bloomin' in a summer shower, ponytail dancin', I can't help it,

I scream, at the top of my lungs, yea I come undone,

I'm stuck on you, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, stuck like glue,

you and me baby we're stuck like glue, whoa-oh, whoa-oh,

how come all the pretty girls like you are taken baby,

I've been looking for someone like you to save me,

would you walk to the edge of the ocean, just to fill my jar with sand,

just in case I get the notion, 

I see myself, like my mother doooooooeeeeessssssss,

when we owwwwwwwwned the night! 

Yup, it makes me want to scream too. (In case you're wondering: JaneDear Girls, Katie Arminger, Sugarland, Zac Brown Band, The Band Perry, Lauren Alaina, Lady Antebellum.)

There are two that I can even enjoy (The Band Perry & Lady Antebellum, although I can't say I like Lady Antebellum for any type of country music) but I would love to see Taylor Swift disappear from the scene completely and for all her music to just vanish.

Long, long ago I saw Rascal Flatts at their first Colorado concert (held at then-Six Flags Elitch Gardens) and I had loved them, right up until their third album and their music became unrecognizable as "country." I also saw Keith Urban before anyone knew who he was and guess what? Can't stand his music!!

If I didn't get a great discount on things I love like Wrangler and Ariat and get the chance to socialize with adults (yay!) it would be worth quitting! 

In the meantime, I'm going to keep praying my photography and freelance expands to the point where I don't need a part time job so that I can visit the store on occasion to buy feed. Until that happy day occurs, maybe I could get away with cotton in my ears?!

Baby loves her Papa

The older M gets, the more independent she is. I guess I could've expected that, but what I wasn't prepared for was for her to be so eager to get away from me. Point in case: She was so eager to go to her Papa this morning that she strained away from me to him, grabbed his shirt and began to leverage herself up to him.
She wasn't interested in a kiss goodbye, didn't care that I was leaving, nothing. While it's quite normal for M to be okay with me leaving her, this was more a "I don't care where you go, just let me go!" moment and while it didn't make me cry (shocker, considering those Olympic "Thanks, Mom," commercials can make me tear up), it did leave me a little flabbergasted. I climbed into my car and immediately texted my husband: "M didn't care that I was leaving her this morning."
His simple reply was "She loves you. Don't worry about it." Sure, don't worry. Don't worry that my 11 month old didn't even want a good bye kiss!!
Boo hoo hoo!
Yes, I'm certain that independence is healthy, I just wasn't ready for it to come at 11 months old! Maybe by preschool, or probably kindergarten, maybe even junior year of high school—but 11 months old?
Is she bored with me? Is she tired of me? Is she mad at me? She has definitely had "mad at momma" moments, especially when the cabinets finally got baby locks and I wouldn't let her play in my office trash can. This was unprecedented, and entirely unexpected!
To make it worse, she still wasn't interested in me when her Papa and Grandma dropped her off this afternoon! I gave her a hug, set her down to play in the grass, and the first thing she did? Crawled to Grandma to get picked up. Yup, seven hours away from her mom and I'm pretty sure if I stayed gone the whole day she wouldn't notice.
Strange, the things that I never would've thought could bother me before I became a mother. Pre-baby Tafra would probably scoff at the mother who worried that her child didn't care about her, and I'd likely have said "She's just independent!" Post-baby Tafra has wondered all day if her baby is Miss Independent or Miss I-Don't-Care-About-Mommy. And if it's the latter, I probably could cry!
Luckily, Papa and Grandma left and M played with me as usual. She's such a strong, personable baby, I know I'm blessed. But I might hold on to her a little longer every time she waves her arms at me to be lifted up—she probably won't let me do that very much longer.

Yes, I'm going to cherish these moments. I haven't had enough!