Ew, did I just eat that?

I did it. I caught myself sticking my finger into my mouth after M half swallowed-half spit out something she was eating yesterday. Yep, without thinking, I found myself ingesting that which M did not want to digest.
Ewwwww.
Although the food in question was at least raspberries, and not some blended concoction of turkey with rice, it still made me gag a bit, once I realized what I'd done. I'll also step up and admit that I've inadvertently stuck my finger in my mouth after wiping food off M's face and after checking it for temperature.
I remember playing the "guess what baby food this is" at my baby shower last year, and shuddering when I realized that pureed ham with vegetables (or any meat pureed and mixed with some other food) was an option. I didn't do very well at that game; most of my guesses revolved around bananas, carrots and apples.
Oh, how unlearned I was! And how much I have changed! From refusing to try even the fruit baby food to just having at it when M spits it out, I have grown into my role as a mom. I also remember being grossed out by the thought of poopy diapers, to being so happy and relieved (for medical reasons) when M finally did poop for the first time that week at home. Now I'm even considering making the switch from disposable to cloth! Ah, how far I have come.

I guess there's something about that perfect face that erased the part of me that ever shuddered to consider wiping a dirty bottom. Before M, I wouldn't have considered trying to eat a banana (I have a strong aversion to the smell and texture of the things), but just the other day while feeding my little darling the fruit, I popped a piece in mouth just to give it a whirl. I mean, if she's eating it, I should be a good example and join her right? (I still can't do the smell and texture, but I tried.)
M has made me such a better person in so many ways, and she's even turned the knob down on my "gross" dial! Of course, my internal temperature dial is cranked way too high (I never thought 80 would be as hot as I would want it to be) and my tear ducts are constantly on spill alert (I sniffed watching Thoroughbreds run before, now I just plain cry...in happiness?) and my nails will never be the same, but I have grown so much!
Thank you, M, for making me a better person; thank you, hubby, for sharing in this wonderful gift, and thank you, Jesus, for blessing us with this little miracle. My finger-in-the-mouth reflex might need some reining in, but there's no stopping how much I love and need this little person.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 (NIV)