My baby girl is almost 10 months old, and had things gone to my plan, I would've likely still been breastfeeding her. But if you read my little saga, you know that things didn't work out and she is formula fed.
What's funny is that just yesterday someone stated that I must breastfeed. I'm guessing she thought this because M is such a healthy (read: chunky) baby. I smiled to myself, thinking, "I am so glad I no longer have guilt over this." I told her no, M was formula fed, without feeling the need to offer any further explanation.
She did inquire why, however, so I told her it simply didn't work for me, that I didn't lactate. I did have a little twinge along the lines of I-wish-I-could've-done-it, but the guilt, disappointment and shame I've felt previously is not there anymore.
It helps to put your feelings into sentences—it's why there are so many bloggers and why Facebook causes so many problems for people (haha)—but blogging about my experience has definitely helped me to heal a little bit more. So if anything I write resonates with you, a reader, please tell me about it! I'd love to hear your experiences or feedback.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. Psalms 18:2 (NIV)
I'm so glad you posted about your experience!!! I'm still 5+ months out from delivering, but every appointment we go to we're asked about breastfeeding. Complete strangers seem to feel the need to question what our plans are, and the truth is...I don't know.
ReplyDeleteThe husband and I discuss it at length, but we haven't made any decisions. I'm willing to try, but I'm afraid of the guilt of it not working out and looking weak for not sticking with it, and to be honest I'm afraid of the pain.